i'm blogging for the second time today .
i'm feeling real down now lahs ?
what's wrong with me ?
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE ):
i'm like the world's silliest person ?
gosh , i screwed my own life , fuck .
Forgiveness is such a simple word,
but it's so hard to do when you've been hurt .
dont know what got into me , really .
i'm so pissed off lahs ?
come on , angry with myself cause i care too much .
i dont mind caring , but not for someone who
dont need this care .
i know you'd apologised .
but , will things be the way it is before ?
i dont know what you think of me , but i can say :
i'm real mad now .
feel so betrayed and all ,
such a fool !
GOD , damn it .
pardon me for the language used .
but i really cant take it anymore , pack of lies !
perhaps i've cared too much ,
for someone who doesn't care .
now i know how it feels , shit !
AHHHHHHHHHH !!
KELVIN :
'hey , if you ever read this , i'm sorry .'
all these while , you'd been there for me .
you were there for me no matter what .
sorry for not replying your msges and
all your emails lately .
&i'm sorry for being so selfish , really .
i'd neglected your feelings cause i dint know how you feel .
the mail you send hit me real hard .
i admit , i'm stubborn and all .
please , i ask of you , dont walk out on me .
i need you in my life .
especially now , at this point of time when i'm lost .
crossroad of my life , which way to go ?
scold me , whatever !
just talk to me again , please .
you'd been there for me all these while ,
trying to make me happy and all .
i've been real selfish , i'm sorry .
i really am .
FORGIVE ME , WILL YOU ?
i'm feeling so fucked up now .
are YOU happy ?
i seriously dont know what am i to you lahs .
teasing me and all , go ahead .
if all these makes you happy , go ahead .
continue doing what you're doing .
THE PRINCESS . . . IS REAL MAD .
i'm fuming with rage , watch out .
anyone who offends me now , you'll get it .
i'm gonna vend all this shit of mine on you .
RAHHHHHHHHH !!
this time , i'm mean it and i'm serious .
i can be an angel , but you leave me with no choice .
this , is the dark side of me .
full of hatred , for some attention-seeking bitch !
i'll deal with you soon .
The world is full of goodbyes.
You probably meet a new one every day,
but that never makes it any easier.
you've nvr sign off with goodbye .
dont do this to me now , i'm not ready .
it's too late to regret ,
i cant turn back time as well .
i've been real troubled for the past few days ,
i know i'm no longer that cheerful me .
i'm sorry alright ?
i very much want to go back to those days .
but now , i cant .
&if you ever stop talking to me , i wont be able to take it .
what you told me earlier this morning ,
i've seen it for myself .
perhaps you were right , that's what he says to everyone .
I DONT GIVE A DAMN !
help me find the purpose of life .
just be there for me , will you ?
i'm tired , emotionally drained .
the world's a dangerous one and i cant face this alone .
i'm so sorry , really .
i know it wont work , though .
i've made a mistake , a big mistake .
too late for me to regret .
what am i gonna do ? fucked up lahs !!!!
"No one who had never been depressed like me ,
could imagine that the pain could get so bad that
death became a star to hitch up to,
a fantasy of peace someday which seemed better than any life
with all this noise in my head."
on the verge of breaking down ,
but i told you i'd be a good girl ,
i'll be strong .
now i've lost all hope , motivation and all . .
they are GONE .
who am i to blame ?
*SIGH*
i'm not gonna blame anyone here ,
it's all my fault .
responsible for all the outcomes .
too naive , too sensitive , too selfish .
It's hard to wait around for something that
you know might never happen.
It's even harder to give up when you know
it's everything you've ever wanted.
princess , you're too gullible .
you're such a fool ,
you SUCK !
i wanna scream real bad ,
i wanna cry .
will you be there to lend me a listening ear ?
sweet talkings are only to deceive one .
you feel so happy , and after that , it's gone .
you lost all trust given to this person ,
that sense of betrayal .
I FUCKING HATE THOSE WHO FLIRT
AROUND LIKE NOBODY ELSE BUSINESS AND DENIES IT .
YOU DARE TO DO IT , ADMIT IT !
fuck you .
as for YOU-KNOW-WHO:
i'm real glad i'd known you .
you've taught me a lot .
if not because of you , i wont know i'd been
too gullible and all .
oh ya , spelling errors .
spot them and let me know alright ?
i'll try to make it perfect .
hurhur !
no point saying sorry , really .
get busy with whatever you are busy with .
all the best for your matches and all .
dont feel guilty only now .
i hope you know what you're doing ,
so disappointed with you .
like what i'd said ,
you so unpredictable .
the one who gave me hope ,
as well as the one who took it away .
seriously , what do you treat me for ?
i can be nice ,
dont take it forgranted .
think abt what you'd post and apply it to your life .
reflect on what you're doing ,
ask your conscience .
i trust you so much ,
yet this is what i get .
i've seen too much , i dont know what's going on .
really , think abt how others feel , you'll regret .
i've regretted so much .
i'm damn hurt , but why do i still care ?
i want to stop caring , i want to hate , i cant .
i'll just leave things as it is .
i've lost a friend who cares abt how i feel .
what do you know ?
i've got no rights to say all this , but i really have to tell you .
dont just say , do it .
you're guilty but you dont seme to be .
it's really contradicting lahs ?
please , dont do this to me .
you're hurt me enough ,
make me smile at least .
dont know if this is retribution .
i hope not lahs ?
just stop hurting me .
cant take anymore blows , i'll not be able to take it .
turned my world upside down .
i wish we'd switched position , really .
what did i do so wrong to deserve all this ?
blogging has become something unpleasant now .
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
i wish i could talk to you like used to
before .
had so much fun and all .
now , i dont know what to say anymore .
i've lost a friend , dont wanna lose another .
tell me what to do .
Labels: full of hatred . not towards anyone else but me .
