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♥ Sunday, July 29, 2007

iie seriously hope iie'll get better . iie just need time , support & encouragement . though iie may feel the pain nw , iie believe . the outcome will be great . iie have to move on & catch up with time . iie cant give up on everything just like that .
easier said than d0ne .
but i promise , i'll try
my best . i have to get
over you & carry on . .


♥ Blogged @
2:24 PM


♥ Friday, July 27, 2007

its been a very long time since i last post . *sigh* i'm sick &still n0t getting any better . Perhaps i'm just tired ? my life's so sad nw luhhs . . cant imagine either . ): twinning was fun anyway . I enjoyed myself , a WHOOOLE lot luhhs . realized the importance of love & . . friendship ! its kinda sad that they had to leave ytd . we hurried to the airport right after farewell dinner . it was REALLYYYY sad luhhs . imissem so much alr . . so , here was what actually happened ytd . in the morning , during recess , i msg myBABYBOY . his been cold towards me for the past few days luhhs . i asked him what happen . then , his reply was the worst & i really dint expect it . just too bad , its over luhhs . there's nth between us nw . hrms . as for my sickness , i've g0t nth to sae alr luhhs . . its getting from bad to worse . &i guess its all cuz i'm tired !!!! i just wished i had the courage to pull thru all this & get over it . i've lost a lot to the world ! i wont fight back . . i wont win or get anything back . so no point . . i wont give up anyway . i have to be strong as I promised someone . . & i promise i'll go to china . . . i swear . i'd do anything just to be able to see those ppl again . . i just cant imagine . time flies luhhs . i just wished they were still here with us . if only i could re-paint my life , i'd paint it with a thousand colours & n0t let it be so dull . full of goth & emotions . . its tiring luhhs , seriously ! but everything's d0ne & there's no turing back anymore . i'll have to deal with this nw .
boy ,why cant i love you the way i wanted ?
LOVE is blind , all complicated . it's hurt me so
much i cant take it anymore . i'm fcukinq tired
of it . but whatever it is , i'll wait . i wont give
up , i promise . . .&i still love and miss you so .

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♥ Blogged @
4:28 PM


♥ Thursday, July 12, 2007

iie'm speech-less ! a thousand whys are running through my mind right nw . its so damn bloody irritating luhhs !fcuk . rawrr . for once , i think to myself , is it really so hard to love someone ? I know I love him but , why is it that I am having this kinda weird feeling ? GRRR . fcuk up . i'm just so gonna breakdown anytime luhhs , lyk , what the hell is wrong with me ? i'm so ahhh . . forget it . i'm posting at such a bloody wrong time luhhs ! posting=negative huh ? how true . hur hur . . i seriously dont know & have no idea abt what the heck is going on luhhs . . BLOODY HELL ! lyk , damn ! idk if i should be laughing or crying right nw luhhs , seriously . lyk what the FUCK ? in with a bullet . . wish i was dead , nw . . i so fucking hate this fucking life of mine luhhs ! Lyk , its gone . why am I feeling this way ? nth happen & iie'm actually so sick . . lyk wahh ! damn fcuked up . &*^% i seriously gotta wake up & start studying for streaming huh ? get good grades & get into a gud class ? heh . I cant luhhs . a curse on me , i'll drop to normal by end of this yr . interesting huh ? maybe it'll be better . . . right luhhs , i really have to take a break . or else i'll go bongus & get damn emo again . gothic ways huh ? promise myself to give 10 reasons on why life is GOOD,PERFECT &INTERESTING lyk , what a joke ? but i have to do it anyway .
10 reasons :
1.i've g0t my friends . [ pshh ]
2.i've g0t my bed [ lyk duhh ]
3.i knew ms chew at least [ miss her damn a lot ]
4.ms chew's counselling ? [ it helps ]
5.i knew HIM ? [ SO WHAT ? ]
6.the computer [ life is nothing w/o it luhhs ]
7. my hp & house phone [ lyk , duhh ]
8.emo [ thats what life is all abt ]
9.goth [ same as emo ? pshh ]-to me luhhs .
10.SLEEP [ wish i dont have to wake up ]
boii , euu neber noe how i feel .
is it really worth doing all this coz
of euu ? lyk , i find it rather stupid
nw , but i dun regret . &i never will .
idk whyye either . juz cant effin get
euu out of myiie head . whyye whyye whhye ?
wad g0rtt into me ? i've changed . iie'm so
stubborn nw . wad did euu do to make me turn
to this state ? i juz wanna fucking hate you ! but
iie cant . arghhh . . . i dun wish to talk to
anyone . leave me alone ;iloveyou

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♥ Blogged @
9:15 PM


♥ Saturday, July 07, 2007

dint post for the past few days luhhs . *sigh* I have to choose between 2 diff ppl . either one have to leave . . n iie so adore them . wadd am I suppose to do ? i'm so damn confused luhhs . I cant really say what's going on but , I dont want to give up on anyone . It is gonna HURT myiie damn badly luhhs . Does everything have to end in this way ? I cant do it . . i really cant . I know its sounds crazy luhhs . . but , I habb no idea how to give up . FRIENDS FOR 7 YRS N STILL COUNTING ON . Am i suppose to let it go ? I cant coz I will be so fucking hurt luhhs . . haish . but ever tried loving someone so badly n dat person have no idea that you're always there ? idk luhhs . seriously , its lyk , there's something inside that guy which you haven seen . the REAL him . tiime changes , ppl changes as well . I'm sure he'll change . . tiime tells it all . I'm suppose to make up my mind and make a decision 2day . I cant give him up , but I cant give my friend up either . HOW ? WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTIME I GET INTO THIS KINDA SITUATION LUHHS ? its just too unfair . oh god , help me . I'm just too tired . . Take me awae instead of taking others away from me , will you ? iie so damn hate dis feeling . if loving someone really hurts so much , i'm willing to go that much . Friends last for a life tiime , yes . arghhh . muz I make this decision ? its gonna hurt damn a lot luhhs . . things always gets taken away from me juz coz of something else . If i hadnt said the incident , iie think iie'll be reported for smoking huh ? thats the BIGGEST MISTAKE I'd ever made luhhs . . i so hate myself .
boy , 8 letters 3 words . it says it all . . but I guess you wont
understand it at all . You left such a deep impression on me n
know what ? you've yet to show the REAL you . You may have
done something , but , idk why i still have feelings for you .
what's that inside you that made me so addicted to you ? TELL
ME WHY ! *sigh* the more I try to leave , the more I find that
I cant . just what is it ? i'm in such a damn state nw luhhs . .
FUCK LUHHS ! ARGHHHH .

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♥ Blogged @
10:16 AM


♥ Monday, July 02, 2007

its been quite some time since i last post . hrms , i fcuking hate life luhh . i don't know why either . . its just how i feel . haish , fcuk , i'm doom ! i'll be going to my grandma hse at say bout 10 plus ? I'm suppose to be out with hweemay &the others luhhs . . argh , something's just not right luhhs . i can sense it . . GOD BLESS ME ! **** *sigh* why do i have to make myself live such a diff. life ? my life's damn SCREWED alrite ? haish . If only I had that kinda life others have , i'll be much happier right now , weird ? i really wonder why why why did GOD give me this fucking life luhhs . there's this feeling of fear & death in me . maybe thats my life ? idk , seriously . . nothing is gonna make me step out of this fear & the other funny feelings luhhs . BLOODY HELL ! perhaps it all started cause of someone , at sometime , somewhere , somehow . i've got no idea why & what the hell i'm talking abt . it juz seems to be this way . my emotions are controlling me , not the other way round . my heart's been broken into a million pieces , i'm still working on it . but imagine , it really hurts when you love someone & realize he is just treating you like some SHIT ! idk , HURT !
if i had only 1 min left to live this life of mine , what would
you do or say ? i bet you're just gonna tell me , let it be . cause
you've got your own life nw . &if i had the power to turn back
time , i'll make sure i never let you go cause you are all that i ever
needed . its like , i'd rather walk away then see you turn your
back on me . i'm so hurt . . juz cant get over it . FUCK !

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♥ Blogged @
9:00 AM